The Belated Applause

Yesterday I went to the movies.  I went to the Luxe Theater, where I sat in a plush & comfy leather chair and ordered a glass of wine, a bag of popcorn and paid the attendant a little extra, so she wouldn’t disturb me.  And then I settled back to watch  "This Is It".

 For me, the only thing missing was the roar of applause.  I had never seen/heard Michael Jackson end a song without fans cheering.   It was very surreal.   Just the crew clapping and it wasn't the same as a stadium full of cheering fans. 

 I missed it, that adulation which to me is synonymous with a Michael Jackson concert.  It's what I expected, except I hadn't noticed that it was missing, until I realized it was missing.  Funny, I had always associated the cheers of his live performances as part of the music.  You know, like the sound track that accompanies the viewing of anything that included a Michael Jackson appearance.  And then, I had to remind myself that he's dead and this is a documentary and I'm seated alone, in a movie theater.   This is it.

 When the movie ended, there was a soft respectful applause.  If asked, I would say it was the kind of applause offered when you've just witnessed something truly mesmerizing.  Like the astonishing magic of David Copperfield.  

 At one point during the movie, Michael stood motionless on the stage, and director Kenny Ortega called out to him, "MJ, what are you doing?"  And Michael Jackson replied, "Simmering". 

I smiled.  There was a part that brought tears, when he thanked his brothers and parents.  There was a part when he reminded me how I grew up with his music… a thirteen year old girl, thinking love might mean more than kissing, but hearing “Stop the Love You Save” or my own accountability as an adult, starting with the “Man In The Mirror” or my own grief, when the little boy named Ryan and so many of my friends passed away from Aids, all “Gone Too Soon”. 

And as I watched the movie, I realized that there aren’t too many people who know how big of a fan that I was, that I am.  I never wore it on my arm.  But I know genius and Michael Jackson was that, which I admire.   I'm not defending who, or what he was, or what he did or did not do, I'm just saying... 

The man could sing and he could dance and yes, I was entertained.   Today, after having seen the film I decided to thank Michael Jackson because he did indeed “Rock My World” with his music.

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